Who Should Walk You Down the Aisle at Your Wedding?

Planning a wedding famously comes with a lot of decisions, and you’re spoiled for choice when faced with so many options but only one celebration. Picking out your linens, color palette, and wedding party is one thing, but what about choosing the person(s) who will walk you down the aisle at your ceremony?

You may be under the impression that there’s really only one route to choose, but in reality, we’re seeing more and more couples straying from what’s expected and linking arms with other important people in their lives.

Cover photo by Rachel Maloney Photography

Ditching The Norms vs. Keeping Tradition

Being escorted by a parent is typically the go-to, but the fact of the matter is that it may not be a viable option for every couple.

Loni Peterson of LP Creative Events shares, “First and foremost, you should walk down the aisle with or without whoever you choose. This is a huge moment for most couples getting married, and everyone has different relationships with their parents, step-parents, and religious beliefs, to name a few. There is no wrong way to do it; the most important thing is that you are comfortable and confident as you walk down the aisle, as it can be overwhelming and a blur!”

Craig Peterman of Craig Peterman Photography & Videography encourages you to stay true to yourself. “If traditional roles don’t fit your vibe, do something unique! I’ve seen couples walk together, have both parents walk them down, or even take a solo strut to the altar. Your wedding, your rules!”

And photographer Melani Lust says it best: “It should be the person, or people, who have guided you through life and have the most meaning for you.”

What Are Your Options?

wedding aisle, wedding ceremony — Photo Credit: Colton Simmons Photography

The good news? You have a wealth of people to choose from, and there are no limitations! If your heart is set on having a parent walk you down the aisle, we absolutely agree that it’s a great move. But here are some alternatives if that isn’t necessarily in the cards for you or if you’re hoping to branch out.

Too many people to choose from? Mary Angelini of Key Moment Films has a solution. “If you cannot choose just one person, two people can escort you to the aisle. You can also have one person, or you can walk solo. One option is for both parents to walk by your side, symbolizing their joint support. You can also choose to recognize multiple family members, asking siblings, grandparents, or even your children to join, creating a family-centered entrance. Close friends or mentors who’ve guided you can also make beautiful escorts, adding a personal touch to your walk.”

Penny Haas of Penny Haas, LLC recommends, “When a parent is not available, whether they’ve passed or aren’t involved, I suggest finding the person who makes you feel safe and comfortable or potentially someone who helped raise you, like your siblings and grandparents. The big part of the conversation is what you feel comfortable and confident with, and is this something special for you to have a loved one walk you down the aisle?”

Peterson continues, noting, “I have had clients who have unfortunately lost both their parents so they asked a sibling or a life mentor to walk them down the aisle. I have had clients who do not have the best relationships with their biological parents, so they choose to walk themselves down the aisle. I have clients who want both their parents to walk them down the aisle, and I have had others who walk with a loved one halfway, and then they want to experience walking into the next chapter of their lives on their own two feet.”

What To Bear In Mind When Making Your Decision

Logistics can play a major role in your decision as well. Physical limitations, long distance, and other obligations are definitely factors to consider before naming your aisle escort.

Colton Simmons of Colton Simmons Photography makes a great point: “Ensure that your decision is practical, keeping in mind the factors of the person walking you down the aisle. In the case that they have physical limitations, maybe they only walk you halfway down the aisle, standing once you’ve arrived at the seating near the aisle, rather than the entire way.”

According to Kevin Dennis of Fantasy Sound Event Services, it’s crucial to keep in mind that there may be some tough conversations when filling the role. “If you have someone in mind but your heart is set on having a destination wedding, there’s a real possibility that they may not be able to make it for your big day. Weddings can be a huge investment, even for guests, so I recommend asking someone who has already RSVP’d or someone who you know will be in attendance.

Additionally, if someone in your life is expecting to fill this role but you’re hoping to walk with a different person, you’ll want to be upfront and honest with all parties involved so that no one’s feelings are hurt.”

This decision is one that’s deeply personal, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. That said, it’s crucial to remember that you aren’t tied to any societal norms or traditions that you don’t want to follow; the person you choose to walk down the aisle with is someone that you’re close with for a reason!

Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and wedding marketing firm OFD Consulting. Ely is a sought-after speaker and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.