8 Jewish Wedding Traditions You Can’t Skip!

Save the Date Address Etiquette

Information to include on your Save-the-dates are your names, your wedding date, your wedding location (typically just the city and state is all you need, but for destination weddings, the country or resort name is also appropriate), wedding website, and the phrase “invitation to follow.” When addressing your save-the-dates keep in mind the formality of your event and the piece itself. Typically, a less formal address style is used on save-the-dates.

Pro Tip: A wedding website is a great resource for your guests and for sharing information. Keep it updated and list the URL on your save-the-date.

Are Save-the-Dates really necessary? The answer is Yes. The save-the-date is an important part of the wedding planning process. They allow your guests to mark their calendars and begin making travel arrangements for your big day. Many times they are the first notification to your guests that you are getting married.  Save-the-dates can be a simple card or you can get creative. Save-the-dates typically mail 6 to 12 months in advance of your wedding. There is no such thing as too to much notice, especially if you are having a destination wedding or a wedding that falls on a holiday.

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Your invitations give guests their first impression of your big day. They set the tone, and it’s important to get it right because invitations can be an expensive item in your overall wedding budget. The first step is to choose your style, your wording, whether formal or informal, and design elements, including typeface, colors, paper weight and texture, all subtly influence how your wedding is perceived by your guests. For instance, if you envision your guests in black tie, the invitation should convey the formal tone and style.

How you word your wedding invitations is another subtle clue for your guests about your big day. An invitation begins with a host line. Just like the name, this tells the guest who is hosting the wedding (which traditionally, is who is paying for the wedding). Followed next by the request line. This is where you extend the invitation to attend your wedding. If your wedding is formal, use formal language (EX: “request the honor of your presence”), conversely, if your wedding is casual, you can use less formal language (EX: “please join us”).

Complete Suite – RSVP & Enclosure Card

The actual invitation is only part of your wedding stationery suite. A response card is needed to obtain a head count. The first item of information on your response card is the RSVP date. This is typically three to four weeks from your wedding date. It is important to communicate this date with your planner and your venue to get their feedback. A spot for the guest to write their name is next on your response card. Traditionally, the “M” is meant to designate the first letter of the formal salutation (EX: Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., Mx.). Additional information to consider including on your response card are things like meal choices and song requests,etc… The RSVP envelope should have the address to the person that is collecting your responses on the front of the envelope. Don’t forget to include current postage.

Pro Tip: Many wedding websites companies offer digital rsvp’s. You might consider using a QR code or directing your guests to your wedding website. In doing so gives you the added bonus of money saved on postage and no need for an envelope.

Additional enclosure cards can be many things. Reception cards as mentioned earlier are to be used if the ceremony and the reception are held at different locations. Remember to include not only the location but the time the reception starts. Information or detail cards provide any additional wedding details to guests like directions, transportation, lodging, etc. This is a great place to add your wedding website URL. Activity cards are very helpful when a wedding takes place over multiple days. Festivities might start with a welcome party, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and then finish with Sunday Brunch for example.

Envelope Assembly & Addressing Invitations

Thoughtful attention should be placed into your invitation assembly and addressing. The invitation goes on the bottom, then any enclosure cards, followed by the rsvp card and envelope on top. Add-ons like vellum wraps, wax seals, or ribbon can add a finishing touch to your entire suite. Envelope addressing is an important and often overlooked step. The following examples are etiquette-approved and will help you address your invitations with ease. But before we go into the ins-and-outs of addressing, an additional consideration is the use of an inner envelope. This additional envelope adds not only an extra layer of protection, but also the opportunity to add an envelope liner as a design feature.

Addressing using an inner and outer envelope.

Postage

Wedding invitations are not like other pieces of mail. There is much to consider so you can mail with confidence. Multiple inserts or unusual shaped envelopes will require extra postage. If you are using thicker paper stocks that might put your invitation into the parcel category which will increase your postage costs. Items like wax seals and ribbons can get caught in the postage sorting machines and tear your envelopes. Before you buy stamps, take an assembled invitation to your local post office and have it weighed and examined.

Pro Tip: It’s always a good idea to over post your invitations, especially if the weight is very close to the next class.

Better to be safe than have all your invitations returned for insufficient postage. The USPS is always coming out with new stamp designs. But if you want to up your postage game, you can use vintage postage. They are real stamps not in circulation that have not been used. They come in a wide variety of colors, sizes, values and designs. There are many sources online from Ebay to Etsy. It is a fun and unique way to add style and personality to your envelopes.

There is lots of chatter on the internet about hand canceling your postage. The idea is to stop your mail piece from going through the automatic sorting machines used by the post office. By doing so, it can help prevent your invitations from being torn up by the machine. This service requires either a non-machinable stamp or the postage equivalent and the envelope should be labeled non-machinable. There are post offices out there that will let you do it yourself in the post office, so check with your local postal worker. This is a great idea in theory. But the reality is the USPS is very understaffed and even when you purchase the extra postage to make your invitation non-machinable, there is no guarantee that it won’t see a machine somewhere along the way to its destination. 

Thank You Notes

Last but not least are thank you notes. You will no doubt be in a joyous mood after your wedding is complete and you have returned from your honeymoon. Keep that sentiment going by getting your thank you notes written and sent within a month after your honeymoon. Your guest list can act as a log of who sent you gifts and what they were. Be genuine with your feelings and keep your sentiments meaningful. Set a goal of completing 3 to 5 everyday and you will be amazed at how fast they are complete. Make sure you send thank you’s to guests that could not come to your wedding and don’t forget about your vendors. Lots of hard work went into your wedding. They will appreciate your gratitude. You don’t need to be formal in your sign-off or your addressing. Use your instincts, you might treat good friends more casually than you would your boss.