A feast for the senses, Vietnamese weddings are a blend of customs, symbolism, and ancient traditions. Both the happy couple and their respective families are prominently featured in these opulent festivities. Don’t worry. We won’t leave ya hangin’. Ahead, 10 super fascinating Vietnamese wedding traditions you definitely don’t wanna miss.
01
Auspicious Wedding Date: Selecting the Perfect Time
First things first: Picking a suitable wedding date. To pick the ideal time and date, the parents of the bride and groom accompany them to a nearby temple. Choosing the correct wedding date is especially important and needs to have meaning that relates to success. Many factors are considered, such as:
- Chinese zodiac signs and elements
- Birthdays
- Time of births
02
Engagement Photos: Seeing Your Betrothed’s Wedding Look Before the Big Day
Imagine the surprise of seeing the love of your life in their wedding outfit before the actual wedding…But believe your eyes! Vietnamese couples see one another in their wedding attire at the engagement photo shoot rather than getting the first glimpse when the bride walks down the aisle. In many instances, the groom even goes dress shopping to help the bride pick her wedding dress. Yep, it’s true. NBD.
03
The Engagement Ceremony: Making it Official
Almost step-by-step a mirror of the wedding, the engagement ceremony marks the official announcement of the couple’s intention to marry. The groom’s family will fill up mam qua, gorge red tins draped with red cloths filled with i-n-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-e gifts symbolizing prosperity, wealth, and luck such as areca nuts, fruits, cakes, and a roasted pig. The groom has to, ofc, offer these presents before seeing his bride. A fair trade to see his love, amiright?
04
The Arrival of the Bride: Gatecrashing Fun
Okay, here’s the down-low: On the wedding day, the groom, accompanied by his groomsmen, makes his way to the bride’s house to bring her to the ceremony, right? Buuuuuut, there’s a twist. The bride’s family will challenge the groom to take part in a series of playful challenges set by the bridesmaids. The best part? These challenges add a lighthearted and joyous atmosphere to the day and include puzzles, riddles, or physical tasks such as push-ups or jumping jacks. Holy moly. This is to show that he has the strength to take care of his future wife because why not? Don’t worry, he’s got your back, bb.
05
The Five Bows: Unity and Respect
Two words: vows and vibrance. During the wedding ceremony, the couple performs the Ngu Qua, the Five Bows ritual. They bow before their parents, grandparents, and other elder relatives to show gratitude, seek their blessings, and honor their wisdom. Each bow represents a significant milestone in life-birth, teething, marriage, and finally, death. Plus, this ritual symbolizes unity, respect for elders, and the continuation of family values. Let’s be real: It’s a heartwarmingly beautiful moment that emphasizes the importance of family and filial piety.
06
The Tea & Candle Ceremony: Honoring Ancestors and Seeking Blessings
Calling all tea and candle lovers! The to-be-wed couple bows and offers their parents tea while expressing their love and appreciation. The elders accept the couple’s marriage by sipping the tea and providing guidance for a long-lasting, happy union. The groom is then introduced to the family’s ancestors by offering incense to them. Finally, the couple lights a dragon and phoenix candle to commemorate the bonding of their union. In contrast to the phoenix, which stands for luck, love, happiness, and social standing, the dragon is a symbol of life and expansion.
And JSYK, the bride’s family will also offer gifts to the couple afterwards. Traditionally, they are red envelopes of money, other congratulatory gifts, and words of wisdom such as a large gold-plated sign called Song Hy, or “double-joy” bestowed on two people and two families. In our honest opinion, this is one of the most compelling and emotional components of a Vietnamese wedding.
07
The Wedding Attire: Colors and Elegance
All we gotta say is that one of the most eye-catching aspects of the Vietnamese wedding is the Ao Dai wedding outfit. The bride typically wears an elaborate and vibrant red Ao Dai, often adorned with intricate embroidery and patterns. The groom complements her elegance with a matching blue silk Ao Dai or a modern suit inspired by traditional designs. The vibrant colors of red, gold, and pink are favored, symbolizing luck, happiness, and prosperity. To top off the already perfect outfit is the Khan Dong, a circular headdress. Just ridiculously beautiful in a dozen different ways. Agreed?
08
Welcome Photos and Table Visits: The Role of the Bride & Groom on the Big Day
The bride and groom stand near the reception entrance and take “step and repeat” photos with each of their guests as they enter. The bride and groom visit each table to welcome, thank, and pay respect to their wedding guests, who present them with envelopes prepared with cash. (this is quite common in many Asian weddings). The celebration officially starts after the bride and groom have finished their rounds! The rest of the wedding reception often follows a similar format to a Western reception, including:
- A first dance
- Parent dances
- Toasts
- Cake-cutting
- Dancing
09
The Reception: Celebrating with Feasting and Fun
FYI: It’s raining food at Vietnamese weddings with the dinner feast being an average of 8 courses of Chinese food, served family-style and available throughout the night. Oh, heck yes. This delectable Vietnamese cuisine often consists of crunchy spring rolls, banh mi, pho, sticky rice, boiled chicken, and braised meat. To top this off (uh, yea, there’s more), guests also raise their glasses in toasts to the newlyweds’ happiness with the bottle of Remy Martin cognac often found at each table. Younger guests may even play drinking games. Make sure you come with an empty belly. Just sayin’. Don’t say we didn’t warn ya.
Also worth noting: at Vietnamese weddings, good is imbued with symbolic meaning. For example, weddings often feature phu the or su se cakes, which are made of flour with a green bean, sugar, and lotus seed filling. Always sold in pairs, these tender square cakes are encased in green dong leaves that represent eternal love and tied with scarlet ribbons, a symbol which represents the binding force that unites a man and woman. Oh– and did we mention that when the first slice of cake is cut, they feed each other some bites of cake to express their commitment to each other (awww!!)?
10
Lion Dancers: Premium Entertainment
Fact: Lion dancers coupled with traditional music ensures a joyful and festive atmosphere. Many Vietnamese wedding receptions will showcase lion dancers, and trust us, they’re ah-maaaazing. These dancers wear gigantic lion costumes similar to the dragon costumes you see during the Chinese New Year. The lion dancer performance blesses the newly married couple, wishing them a long and joyful marriage. *Lets out an audible ‘ooooo!’*
Lively and full of color, Vietnamese weddings are a beautiful blend of cultural heritage and love, creating a breathtaking experience for everything involved. Vibrant decorations, heartfelt ceremonies, AND oh-so mouthwatering food? What’s not to love? So, if you’re ever invited to a Vietnamese wedding, brace yourselves and be ready to immerse yourself in a world of rich customs and traditions that will leave a lasting impression on your heart. Wins all around, we tell ya. Go ahead and get to attending one—ya know you want to.
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