Your Wedding Toast Questions Answered

Let us be the first (or close to it) to raise a virtual glass in your honor and say cheers to you, future bride or groom! We know that the wedding planning journey is not always sunshine, cake tasting, and rainbows. Here to answer all your toast and wedding speech etiquette questions is Wedding Wingman Ashley McHone of Always Flawless Design and Planning! 

Who Should Give A Toast?

Instead of opening the floor to anyone, you should decide who you want to give a toast before your wedding. While it is nice to be able to let anyone tell stories and inside jokes, once you let one person, everyone will want a turn.

Traditionally, close family members and the bridal party, specifically your maid of honor, the best man, and parents are the ones chosen to give toasts at your wedding party. Even the newlyweds may want to raise their glasses and thank everyone for coming to their special day.

Since you don’t want to force anyone to give a toast, it’s always a good idea to test the waters and propose the idea to them ahead of time. After you decide who you want to speak, always make sure to give them a heads up so they can prepare.

How Long is A Good Wedding Speech

Ashley recommends a time limit of around five minutes maximum. This means you should aim for less than 750 words. This ensures that your guests won’t get bored during the speech and that one giving the toast, who could probably talk about you forever, will stay on track. 

 “We’ve actually had fathers of the brides and best men that talk for over 45 minutes.”

If you do find yourself with more people willing to give toasts than the time allotted for, a great solution is offering them the opportunity at your rehearsal dinner.

When Do You Give a Wedding Toast?

It depends who you are. The groom’s parents tend to give toasts at the rehearsal dinner, as they traditionally host that event. During the wedding reception, it would be the bride’s parents’ turn to give a speech. During the wedding reception, friends, like the best man and maid of honor, should go first, followed by the couple’s parents. Last, the couple can give a toast, if they’re so inclined. However, it’s your wedding your way – this is simply a guideline that some choose to follow, but there’s no right or wrong way!

Is It Okay To Read a Wedding Toast? 

Obviously, as we aren’t your bride and groom, it’s not really up to us. If you are feeling nervous, it would not hurt to ask! We’ve found most people will bring notes on their phone or notecards to refer back to. This gives you the ability to speak from the heart, but have a script to fall back on!

What Do I Do if I’m Nervous About Making a Toast?

Most people have at least a little fear surrounding public speaking, so it’s totally normal to feel nervous. Here are some ways to calm yourself down when you get the jitters: Make sure you’ve practiced. Preparation is your ultimate weapon against wedding day speech nerves. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!

1. Make sure you’ve practiced. Preparation is your ultimate weapon against wedding day speech nerves. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!

2. Think of yourself as successful. Imagine yourself giving the perfect speech. You hit all the major points, say what you want to say, and don’t stumble. Keep up this positive thinking and your body will follow.

3. Try to focus on the speech, and the speech alone. It’s easy to get caught up in everyone else and worrying what they’ll think or how they’ll react. But the only thing you have total control over is what you say and how you say it. Focus on that, and let the rest fall into place.

4. Admit you’re nervous. Let the audience know this isn’t your jam and they’ll be even more likely to root for you. Everyone knows how tough it is to be in the spotlight, and no one will be judging you harshly.

What To Put in A Wedding Speech 

When sharing special moments and stories, it’s important to set guidelines for what you’re comfortable with. Always consider the audience of your wedding: Do you want your grandmother hearing about a drunk college night? 

It’s totally fair to ask those giving a toast to steer away from anything inappropriate, to try to keep the inside/private jokes to a minimum, and to ask them to not bring up past relationships. By setting a couple of ground rules to toasting topics, you’ll have a toast that everyone can enjoy. 

Not sure what to say or need help getting started? Check out our blog on the Do’s and Don’ts to Writing a Wedding Speech so that your toast is unforgettable!